Parenting teenagers can feel like navigating a moving target.
One moment they seem independent, and the next they are overwhelmed, withdrawn, or doubting themselves.
In my recent article published in Alive Magazine, I explore how parents can support their teen’s self-esteem during these challenging years — especially when everything feels hard for both the young person and the parent.
Read the full magazine article
Open the Alive articleBelow, I have expanded on some of the most common questions I hear from parents in Hervey Bay and surrounding areas.
Key takeaways for parents
- Self-esteem is built through connection, not correction.
- Teens still need parents — even when they push them away.
- Emotional safety at home matters more than getting it “right”.
- Small, consistent moments of support often matter more than big conversations.
Questions and answers for parents
These are some of the concerns I hear most often from parents of teenagers.
How can I help my teen build self-esteem?
It often starts with how we respond, rather than what we say.
Teens build self-esteem through feeling seen, heard, and accepted — especially when they are struggling. This does not mean agreeing with everything they do, but it does mean creating space where they do not feel judged or dismissed.
Why does my teen push me away if they still need me?
This is one of the most confusing parts of parenting teenagers.
At times, it might feel like “nothing I say is right” or “they don’t want me around anymore.” What looks like rejection is often a mix of overwhelm, emotional intensity, and not yet having the words to express what they need.
Staying present — without forcing connection — helps keep that relationship intact.
When should I consider counselling for my teenager?
You might consider extra support if you notice ongoing low mood or withdrawal, increased anxiety or emotional outbursts, changes in behaviour, sleep, or school engagement, or your teen expressing negative beliefs about themselves.
Sometimes parents say, “I’m not sure if it’s serious enough yet.” You do not need to wait until things feel severe. Early support can help teens build resilience, emotional awareness, and coping skills before challenges become more overwhelming.
What if my teen refuses to come to counselling?
This is very common.
Sometimes the first step is supporting the parent. When parents feel more confident and supported in how they respond, it can positively shift the dynamic at home.
At Counselling Compass Australia, I also work with parents to help them support their teen more effectively — even if the young person is not ready to attend sessions themselves. Learn more about parent support.
Over time, teens are often more open to support when they feel it is a safe and collaborative process — not something being “done to them.”
Can I be doing everything right and still feel like it is not working?
Yes — and many parents feel this way.
You might find yourself thinking, “I’ve tried everything and nothing seems to help.” That feeling can be exhausting and disheartening.
Parenting a teenager is not about getting everything right. It is about staying in the relationship, even when things feel messy or uncertain.
There is no perfect approach — just a willingness to keep showing up, repairing when needed, and seeking support when things feel too heavy to carry alone.
Ask your own question
If you are carrying a question that is not covered here, you are welcome to send it through. This gives parents an easy way to reach out when they are not quite ready to book but need a starting point.
Questions submitted here are received privately. If a response is provided on the website in future, personal details would not be published.
Support pathways
Self-Esteem Support (ages 8–16 years)
Local support for Hervey Bay and the Fraser Coast
Working with someone who understands your local community can help teens and parents feel more comfortable and supported.
